Because Sometimes?

Things just really suck.

I'm doing a whole lot of work on my mind. I understand that our chemical makeup only does but so much. It is flexible and ready to be shaken up, either positively or negatively. Sure, maybe you're predisposed to very cynical thoughts. However, there's always meditation! Clear your mind and maybe you'll stop hating everything.

But my main issue is, I'm tired of doing the things to make my mind better, and the things around me don't get better. Yes, I get the whole "inside out" thing, ie, if you're not happy on the inside, it doesn't matter what's going on on the outside!

Um. I disagree. Especially today, as I look out the window and "on the outside" see a gray sky and pouring rain. I am getting really fed up constantly working on what goes on in my mind, only to see no positive results happening around me. Things start to feel hopeless. I can't fix them. And then again it goes back to, "So fix what's on the inside!"

Don't they all say that first awareness is the key to fixing the problem? Well then how 'bout this. Said post I am writing/you are reading right now is my Call to Awareness.

I have a problem. I am PISSED at everything. I'm depressed that nothing turns out the way you think it does, and I feel that a lot of the times, it doesn't surprise you in a good way.

So here I am, saying I feel really really shitty about the state of things. And I'm going to change them on the fucking inside and hope the outside steps up.