I'll Just Read This Over and Over Again.

I had dinner with one of my best friends Grace last night. I met her at musical theatre conservatory, and I'm very grateful to still have her as a friend after all these years "pounding the pavement" and getting called by the wrong name at auditions. I told her I was feeling a little blue as I slopped up my french onion soup. I know there's creativity inside me, a unique voice to tell a story that I think people could relate to. I'm just having some trouble figuring out how to get my word across. This bloggity-blog is a WONDERFUL, tremendous step in getting my word across. I know this is only helping me. 

But other things help too, like a video of Ira Glass which Grace sent to me later that night. It's on storytelling, and the words could not have resonated more with me, particularly on that cold Wednesday night, post-blizzard, post-new-job, post-new-year... post. Here's the transcript:

Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it's just not that good. It's trying to be good, it has potential, but it's not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn't have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know it's normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I've ever met. It's gonna take awhile. It's normal to take awhile. You've just gotta fight your way through. 

I just want to shout from the rooftops! YES! YES YES, IRA! YES! THANK YOU! Honestly, I really do believe I have killer taste. In some form or another. The comedy I'm invested in, the writers I believe in, the work I grew up o... I'd say it all comes together to create this "killer taste" of mine. And I'm just going to keep fighting my way through. I'm not going to judge my worth based on what's written on this blog. This is only a safe space for me. And you, anonymous reader who happened to stumble upon "Subways with Buddha" (wait, did you use StumbleUpon.com? Is that still a thing?), I appreciate you taking the time to go on this journey with me. With me and Ira Glass. And Grace.